Here are the top three reasons that stop you from asking to be paid for your gifts – and how to start tackling them. They are all various forms of social fears that live deep in our brains, out of the reach of our conscious, strategic mind. When you try to “make a plan” to “conquer your fear,” the action plan doesn’t usually address the fear itself and so the fear wins out.
Reason #1: Fear of Being Deemed Unworthy or “Not Enough”
If you have this fear, chances are high that you are a perfectionist who has trouble knowing when enough is enough. You take on too many projects, commitments and pursuits. You want to look good, feel good and ‘do good’ at everything! And you want others to notice all that you do and acknowledge you for “being excellent.” You are looking for approval in all the wrong places.
This perfectionism can lead to over-working and doing things you don’t really want to do, making you feel bitter, resentful and exhausted on every level. You may lose touch with your desires and get lost in the obligations and demands of other people. This is a form of sacrifice or servitude and its long-term consequences are often physical, emotional and financial melt-down.
Part of your “obligation” is feeling you must serve anyone who asks, even if they don’t pay because it is your “duty to serve.” You may be using your spiritual gifts but you are giving them away for free or undercharging.
You feel driven to serve humanity and shift global consciousness.
Remedy: Healing can happen if you start setting boundaries and are willing to sometimes endure being told by others that you aren’t “doing enough” – for them. Can you risk this social rejection in order to be paid and to be free to create as you see fit?
Reason #2: Fear of Being Called “Crazy” (aka Loss of Love)
Many women suffer with this fear. Maybe you are afraid that if you reveal your intuitive powers, you will be called out.
You may fear the loss of love from the people around you in the form of criticism and judgment – from strangers to family members – so you twist yourself into a pretzel, stuffing your feelings deep inside that emotional bag you haul around everywhere you go.
You dread the judgment of other people and will do anything to avoid rejection, ridicule, and humiliation. You may even fear persecution for speaking your intuitive truth.
Perhaps as a child, when you dared to point out some sort of dysfunction in your household – abuse, lies, manipulation, half-truths – you were silenced. You might have been punished physically or denied affection and care. Perhaps you were simply told, “That’s not true. You don’t see/hear/feel/know that.” Or maybe you were told, “You’re crazy.”
Since you were dependent upon these people for your well-being, shelter, food and clothing, you learned quickly to keep your intuitive wisdom to yourself and bury it deep inside of you. When we talk about facing our “darkness” – this is the ‘darkness:’ all those emotions we’ve buried inside, out of our own realm of awareness.
Remedy: One day, the stuffed emotions come-a-calling and it’s usually the day we’ve finally mustered up the courage to say “YES” to our spiritual gifts. It can feel like a cruel trick if we are not aware of what is happening.
When we make the move to get paid for our spiritual gifts, all these judged and disowned feelings come racing to the surface to be acknowledged and felt so we can be free. If we are willing to feel our fear and have a good cry, much can be released so we can move forward. I encourage you to tell yourself, “All my parts and all my emotions are welcome here. I’m not crazy. I see/hear/feel/know the truth.”
If you resonate most closely with this fear, it is likely you are not being paid well for your spiritual gifts because you either don’t like to admit they are there or you don’t fully use them in your work for fear of being judged by others. The people around you can’t assess your true talent and ability because you hide it. This affects your ability to get paid!
Reason #3: Fear for Your Safety
This may sound dramatic but I have had hundreds of women raise their hands in unison when I asked from the stage, “How many of you, by show of hands, have feared being persecuted for speaking your truth?”
This is a serious hold back to your success, yes?!
Perhaps you have the fear of being pursued for speaking your truth. This can cause you to feel unsafe in your body and on the planet. You might experience panic and anxiety at the thought of being paid for your spiritual gifts.
Symptoms of this fear can show up if you are working in a career that is a total mismatch to your talents and desires (“playing it safe”). You might not even know what you want because it’s too risky to know what you want. Talk about difficulty getting paid for your spiritual gifts!
Let’s face it – it’s scary to speak our truth. Yet, the truth sets people free, most importantly – YOU.